Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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