Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
