I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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