Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
