Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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