shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
