i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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