i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
tell your sister to shave her snatch
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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