I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
