My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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