what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
