i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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