white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize