I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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