also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize