Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize