We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
