you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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