I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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