It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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