My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
