he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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