i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
We named our party play list daddy issues
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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