I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
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She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
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either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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