Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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