I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize