Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
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Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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