Please, let me fuck your mom
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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