I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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