Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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