Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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