If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
