I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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