You really coming over, don't trick.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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