Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just found puke in my bra..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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