you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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