Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
