Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
