I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
