Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
