I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
