hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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