Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
