It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
