Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Your penis caused this!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
