She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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