Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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