when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
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YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
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Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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