Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
