Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
