see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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