I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
