New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
