my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
