I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
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So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
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I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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