"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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