return my video game
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
