I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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