i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
