i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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