if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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