Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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